Hurt

I was hurt very badly today. It was unintentional and unknown, but it is a horrible hurt. It's the hurt that makes you want to scream and cry and throw up and fall down and go to sleep all at the same time. The kind that you know you're going to make it through, but at present don't see how. The kind that makes you feel alone, and like somewhat of a failure, and like the life of a hermit might not really be that bad of an idea. It's a hurt that you can't share with other people, because you love the person that hurt you so much you couldn't bear for people to think badly of them. So you have to fake it. You have to smile when you see and talk to people, all the while pretending that your guts haven't been ripped out. I'll survive, and probably wonder later why it hurt me so much, but for now I wish that Carl were home and not dove hunting, because I desperately want to cry on someone's shoulder. Instead, I'll watch It's Me or the Dog, cry myself to sleep, and then realize that life isn't all about me, everybody gets their feelings hurt and I need to get over it and focus on my family. At least, I hope that's what happens.